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Updated: Apr 27, 2021

Taking the journey of self-esteem, self-love, and self-acceptance with our daughters.

What a time to be alive! There is a lot that black skin has seen over the years, and sometimes we forget just how significant our natural hues mean to ourselves and the people around us.

Lupita Nyong’o stated this, “I hope that my presence on your screens and in magazines may lead you, young girl on a similar journey that you would feel the validation of your external beauty but also get into the deeper business of being beautiful inside. That there’s no shade in that beauty.”

Similar Journey – of what? Self-esteem, self-love, and self-acceptance.

For this reason, we have come up with a few ways to help you teach your young ones and those around you how to embrace their skin, culture, differences, and uniqueness. Here are a few ways to encourage self-esteem, self-acceptance, and self-love in your daughters specifically.

Teach them about the hair.

Do you know what hair meant to Africans pre-colonialism? Well, hair was known to be divine; it was the most elevated part (like the tops of trees reaching for the sky), making it closer to the Almighty. It was not meant to be touched by outsiders, only styled by close relatives. Hairstyles signified class, marital status, and even age and sex. Although some of these things will never come back, it is wise to let them know that their hair is an extension of their higher selves and should be taken care of.

This means;

  • Silence the screaming of what society deems as beautiful. No one should speak negatively about their hair, including themselves.

  • Teach them early how to care for their own hair. Explain and teach how hair should be hydrated, combed, oiled, and softened. Involve them in the caring process (Be sure to use products designed for African American hair like Bimpe’s Hair Growth and Rescue Elixir & Ginger Baby Pre Poo. This makes the process easier and even fun! Quality products produce excellent results!

  • Use the time to bond and instill self-love and acceptance! Compliment their work.

Let them know they are perfect, just as they are.

The 21st century may be one of the most technologically advanced times yet, but with all this success comes a need to fit in and belong. You cannot always control what they watch and who they interact with, but you can always make them feel unique and beautiful! King David said,

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” - Psalm 139:14

Encourage them to “Live out Loud.” As Marianne Williamson pressed in her poem Deepest Fear “As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others” because beloved, the journey of self-esteem, self-love, and self-acceptance is contagious!

And remember, never give up letting them know that they are absolutely beautiful, unique, and can be anything they want regardless of their looks, color, or even background.







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